I am not going to be shy about it anymore, I have a crush on Nikita. Nikita Kering’ to be specific. I don’t know if it is the voice or the package. I cannot say Nyash because in some other circles I am very respected. They know me as a man of God 😂
For the longest, I used some powerful Ivy League tea leaves as my laptop stand. I wasn’t aware it was full of ecstasy and bliss. All I could moan was Stir Me, Stir the Love Out of Me Abeg!
So they decided to effect the force of inclusivity on Trump. They said Trump is Maasai and he should have a sikio la kufa; an ear mark for that matter to look like own of his own, like one of us.
I felt Soila touch my arm and my body waltzed in bliss. She was the love of my life but the way she aroused my laing’oni and ashamed me in front of respectable women left me more depressed than I should be happy.
Soila was the aurora of Nasipa, the unicorn of the savannah and every Nyangulo wanted her. I vowed against all odds that Ole Karuko’s son who I refer to as a Moilaa (dung-beetle) that he will not take her away from me, again!
I don’t love the sound of motorbikes nor that of generators. This is why I retract to my small cave of what people call loneliness and boredom. My name is Simintei, I am as I am not my father’s son. I am a bastard.
Like sincerely, should men carry wet wipes? I am seeing these crop of men with mama mboga money bags carrying wet wipes. We are doomed!
If you schooled in Rombo Boys Primary school then you are aware of muguru. A state of the art swimming pool that grew with both parents, ate only cereals for breakfast and went to group of schools.
There are those days where you lazily go home. The days you ask yourself what would have happened if you refused to be pushed off your mother’s cervix and just stayed intact attached to your food resource pipe and eternally moonwalked inside the womb.
How many of you have seen a jini? And I don’t mean Genie in a bottle. You know there is a difference between a genie and a jini? I think a genie is white; either British or from the US. You see the way you set up your new laptop or phone and you are asked to choose your language?
Rumor has it that the fresh grain eating pests have morphed into more potent and lethal organisms able to withhold more resources for more and improved services. It is said that the new breed now hide in different and more advanced cocoons called the CX5.
You see, there is some guy somewhere so bitter, chocking with bile that you guys decided to put the chicken seller in power and not Mauzes who would take him to Canaan and give him KES 6,000 every month.