I recently bought a new toy, the Nikon D750 and apparently my childhood friend was wedding around the same time so I thought instead of just going to eat the cake, let me accompany and test my new toy. I called a friend up, also a childhood friend, asking if he was carrying his toy, also the D750 and told me because I was a newbie, he would give me intros to the camera and I was like, ‘This goat just bought this camera 5 months ago and now calls me a newbie.’
So let me cut you short of the blah blah blahs…
Now left (this guy is called Toikan, Tony the best man – he acts like a bodyguard here because he is not married yet. I kid you not this guy was not smiling often, maybe he was protecting the package, the merchandise, the groom, Elvis. Talk of watching another movie, The Transporter ?) On the right, of course, is the man being wedded, let’s call him El.
And this is how Mama Kiarie of Auntie Boss entered ?
Most photographers never have their photos online. This is because nobody shoots them. So this is Bmpicz (Billy Miaron) who runs bmpicz.com
Billy of Bmpicz and mum
Has your mum ever told you to lower your Tv volume so that she can smell something in the kitchen? Meet our Mc, also a friend, Mc Neb who shut his mouth because he smelled something.
Have you ever noticed that when one man is pressed, all the rest also click to the nearest bush? Now the groom also smelled something. But this was too good that some teardrops were falling? And we were wondering, what’s cooking? Because this onion must be very harsh. ?
Kumbe her majesty was arriving. And we all stood up because Maggie was wedding Elvis and not the other way round. ?
And this chap started smiling. Because food was getting prepared. We all know him since we were little, he loves food together with his childhood friend called Sani, I will introduce him later in this thread. Now look at our bodyguard hapo nyuma ?
And this one doesn’t need any explanation ?
Am the real OG, you will know you don’t ?
The fleet of beauties
And the pastor said, “Mama Kiarie kuja utuibie kahymn.” It was melodious.
Grace sings a wonderful hymn
Meet parents of the groom. We know them as Mama and Baba Leyian or Mama and Baba Elvis. Where we come from we do not call older people by name ?
Parents of the groom
And so the pastor started preaching
And he said, “Hapa kuna mtu lazima tuwekelee mikono kwanza before tuanze. Tushukuru Mungu kijana amepata mtu. Hizo siku zote amezunguka weddings kama tent ama keki si mchezo.” ?
And the grooms parents saw kweli kijana wetu ametoka mbali. Na Mungu amemuonekania, Ashe Enkai ai. ?
Parents prayed for their son and daughter
And both parents were told, “Haya sasa yenu imeisha, wacha tufunge hawa wawili.”
Bride & Groom parents
And the passie told Elvis to unwrap his gift from above ?
Open the veil brathe, usiogope
Elvis opens Kavuu’s veil
And this guy is just interesting, look at what he does.
This guy looks straight into her eyes and asks himself, “Are you really the one? And where is that ka little ka scar that you always have? ?” And Kavuu’s mind run likes, “Aki kwani hujawahi niona? Stop making this look weird. It’s me, am just this beautiful and charming ?”
And the crowd helps him. Me too. We are in this together bro. Though am the photog who wasn’t spared by the sun.
In the middle sits Leyian’s grandma
Attendees
And then the vows
Elvis says the vows. “Mimi Elvis Leyian Mashua, naapa ya kwamba itakuwa ni wewe na nothing but wewe, Ee Mungu nisaidie.”
And then Kavuu goes like, “Aaaaw ni mimi tu? Hakutakuwa na mwingine?” Kumbe the passie’s thoughts run like, “Kwani umesahau part ya mwisho amesema eeh Mungu nisaidie? Mungu ndio anatengenezaga ndoa msichana.”
Elvis’s vow was so bold and macho until Kavuu couldn’t say hers…
And this gave Elvis a very big mileage especially to Kavuu’s parents. “This is how I will be wiping her tears.” ?
And then the pastor realized that we were hungry and that some of us had burned their fuel money to come and eat so he said, “Angalieni hapa”
Elvis & Maggie look at the rings
Nimesema angalieni vizuri
Close-up photo of the rings
And you know we men talk with our eyes.
He looks at Elvis and says, “Kijana unajua hapa ukiingia ni hivyo, utaenda tu na your last statement ya Ee Mungu nisaidie? Juu she will always be right.”
Kwanza he told Kavuu to tell all the single men goodbye. But this passie has madharau a lot. Am there sun scorched, holding 679 grams of camera coming from Narok and this guy has to feelisha me by reminding me am single, another flower or decor. Isorait. Passie, malipo ni hapa hapa duniani, kwanza you will funga my wedding so that you tell my bride and I to wave to other people like akina Emily, Sani, Charles & Billy.
Bride waves to single men
And as if that was not enough. She looked at me and did a special wave, this was to mean something like, “You guy, oa sasa.”
Maggie mercilessly waves to single guys like akina Sani, Charles & Billy
Elvis now gives that smile, not specifically to say goodbye but to tell us, “Mabrathe sasa mimi hii ligi yenu siko.”
Haya leta kitole ?
And he put a ring on it making sure he had a wrist thingy that had his name ndio tujue hatujui
Maggie puts a ring on Leyian’s hand
And they were declared husband and wife. ?
Maggie & Elvis (Husband and Wife oooh sorry Wife and husband)
And we all prayed for a fruitful marriage.
Attendees praying for the bride and groom
Attendees praying for the bride and groom
Now, this guy… SMH
But huyu alituchesa, this is not praying, this is posing for a prayer shot, if they actually exist. This is one of the tents BTW, Charles Mashua, cousin to the groom ?
And they signed it
And they were told to…. No, I won’t say it, my kid will read this someday ?
And then it was like…
Ara, hii inafanyagwo mushana siku hizi?
And the women were like…
Musuri kabisa. Warudie tena
And Maggie met Leyian’s mom
I guess she whispered, “unajua sasa mimi ndio first lady.” And the mom just laughed it off.
And then the photoshoot…
Photoshoot
Mama Kiarie ?
Bridesmaids
But we got hungry especially one of our tents, Sani – Leyian’s foodmate
Sani, Leyian’s foodmate ?
I always tell my friends that there is power in food.
And guess what? This guy also works in Narok, a good friend, kumbe tulikuwa tupatane kwa line ya chakula. Enyewe food brings people together, not weddings ? Oooh am the one on the left.
And the food queue grew with our hunger
Some random clicks at the reception
The Decor ?
Your guy billy never took any photos of food. He should be thoroughly whipped, how can he? But I agree with him, sisi hapana chesa na chakula. The food was amazing, damn!
And then Mc Neb that all women should get outside to dance with the bride. And because people say nakuwaga na umama I went outside to join them.
Kavuu whisphers, “Tusianze mastyro unajua ndio hawa wazazi.”
And tony smiled at last because he had successfully delivered the merchandise
MC Neb went like, “Haya wapi mapega?”
Meet Elvis’s brother on the right.
Elvis asks, “Unasikia njaa kama mimi?” Maggie replies, “Cheza chini tuko karibu.”
Maggie says, “Ndio hawa sisi karibu tuharakishe.”
Maggie: Wacha tuchimbe chimbe tufike haraka. Look at how Elvis looks forward to the reception.
Maggie’s mum sees her daughter dancing with vehemence and then smiles thinking, “Hii ni njaa.” ?
Elvis: “Aki hii mabega natingisha ya mwisho.”
And I managed to steal one somehow. Juu these people have another protective detail you don’t wanna know.
So they entered one by one… The decor was amazing, sorry we had lenses that couldn’t shoot wide.
And finally…
Mc Neb made them dance still.
Na tukapea yeye chakula
Food at last
Na maji…
Until he said, “Am done, sitaki ingine.”
Some speeches then we go to the cake
The cake was too big that our 50mm couldn’t get it all but I managed to shoot some details.
Elvis: Sijawahi ona keki kubwa hivi
Elvis: Baby kata kabisa. Na pineapples ukuwe unazikata hivi kwa nyumba
Elvis: Baby hii kitu ni tamu sana Maggie: Huwezi nyamaza? Verdict: #FirstFight ?
Mc Neb was just happy
Mpaka he posed for kamoja kazuri
So these two tents said they will marry in five years, that the fact they were in table five was no coincidence
We will marry in five years
Meet Leyian’s younger brother
Leyian’s younger brother
I also got one good one, thanks Billy. You know we photographers do not get any photos.
One good one
Another one
And then we started doing our shoot…
And then we asked her, “Na wewe utaolewa lini?” Take a look at that look
Then we just decided to take a photo
That was one biig shoot. And this was one loong post. We were not the official photographers so we decided to do something fun and enjoy ourselves. Thanks to Billy for compiling and retouching most of these from 1,009 photos. Photography work ain’t no joke.
Congratulations to Elvis Leyian & Maggie Kavuu.
I hope you had a good laugh as you enjoyed the amazing photography.
Have you read my e-books? They are FREE! Because You Kenyans Love FREE things! Mumetuwachia comments za ‘Good Work’ na Mungu akubariki! Shida ni ati ata zikiwa FREE hamsomi! Nani aliwaroga aki?
Hahahaha its been long since I had such a good laugh. Thanks for making it as hilarious and fun as we saw it.
Meanwhile, u can’t wait for ka-kdf kesho.
I am not going to be shy about it anymore, I have a crush on Nikita. Nikita Kering’ to be specific. I don’t know if it is the voice or the package. I cannot say Nyash because in some other circles I am very respected. They know me as a man of God 😂
For the longest, I used some powerful Ivy League tea leaves as my laptop stand. I wasn’t aware it was full of ecstasy and bliss. All I could moan was Stir Me, Stir the Love Out of Me Abeg!
So they decided to effect the force of inclusivity on Trump. They said Trump is Maasai and he should have a sikio la kufa; an ear mark for that matter to look like own of his own, like one of us.
10 Responses
Kazi Awesome sana
Thanks brathe
Hahahaha its been long since I had such a good laugh. Thanks for making it as hilarious and fun as we saw it.
Meanwhile, u can’t wait for ka-kdf kesho.
Kdf coming kesho brathe
Wow! The flow of scenes is just perfect. The density of your creativity is yet another mettle. What a nice wedding. Be blessed abundantly
Kind and humbling words there bro. Thanks
I like the flow men. Going through the photos is enough for those who didn’t make it to the venue. Keep it up bro you are the best so far
Thanks brathe. Najaribu tu. Will keep soaring higher
Wow! Amazing work and humor too
Thanks bro. I love humour in my stories