Friday, 29th December 2017, 6.07am

Lord, I woke up today, weary
Burdened and feeling eerie
I woke up with weak limbs
And my heart heavy with sadness
I woke up, lost and lonely as usual
Trying to find meaning in my life

I have no one to turn to
Except the few who will tell me
“God is in control”
Or “It is just a season”
I do not think that you are in control
You feel so far away
Though you say you are very near

You say that if I abide in you
And you in me, anything I ask
Shall be given unto me
Lord, I have asked for a good life
I have asked for healing
I have asked for an end to my tribulation
But nothing seems to work
More fences are erected every day

You say your word should be lamp to my feet
I have dug through its pages
And all I have seen is endless promises
Of things that I can never seem to have
Who am I Lord? Am I an outcast? Am I forsaken?
Have you really called me and predestined me?
Am I significant in your eyes?

I love how faithless I became
For in my wandering you found me
And pulled me back
Later I rejoiced in my trials and tribulations
For in them I was refined
I learnt that my works do not sanctify me, you do
I learnt that I lived in my flesh and not in my spirit
I learnt that you wanted me to reach my breaking point
So that I can submit everything to you
You that does amazingly abundantly above all
I realized that no matter what shape my life takes
You remain to be sovereign, good and loving
And not any situation of mine can change who you are
My words can only testify bad things about you to others
But deep inside the truth will rule my spirit
For you have manifested yourself in nature
Such that no one is without excuse

#LettersToGod #001