Continued From Part 3. If you missed part 3, Olaing’oni Le Kilimanjaro, read it here – https://siloma.blog/olaingoni-le-kilimanjaro/
They say all men are dogs. I am not going to say who ‘they’ are for fear of being attacked. But think about it for a minute; the traits of a dog and that of men are more or less the same right? As for me, I think the reason why Bosco and I are great friends is because I have his mannerisms.
For example, when I am just from the shower I shake my body like Bosco because owning a towel in Nasipa is like being in the kitchen cabinet of President Ruto. It is not manly to own a towel. Imagine a Maasai moran owning a towel. The defender of the society, the icon and beacon of the community now wipes his butt with a towel. We leave that to Githurai people.
And how can you own a towel in the crevice of Kajiado county? A forgotten place inhabited by unheard degenerates like me, Bosco and of course Ole Karuko’s Ormoilaa? We will forsake you and banish you from this hell hole where Moilaa is our Snopp Dogg. He actually bought a new chain and sunglasses to woo over the pale sun-striken, (I don’t know if I should call them) ladies of Nasipa.
Moilaa actually started rapping again. He was in high school the first time he showed his prowess in rapping crap. Ironically, all the ladies encompassed his stupid self as he sang his mumbo jumbo lyrics. He was singing Let’s Get Down by Prezzo & Nazizi and he would replace the original song with names of the scrawny cats surrounding him. Don’t mind me, I am jealous of him and hate everything around him. He would sing;
Siku Moja Nosim aliniita, niko bisi kwenye Nasipa naamuka
Nikaweka sikio kwenye sipika, sitaki madame wa Njukini ata dakika
Nikasema, ‘Sore Nosim tupatane kule dan town’ (This fool didn’t even know the meaning of downtown)
Les get dan! (He never knew the title of the song as well. English forsake him like plague)
What used to follow were ululations and claps as he put on the silly torn head wrap so that he would look like Redsan. Nosim was Ole Naiguta’s third wife’s first born, she was indeed a beauty never seen in this world and she had floored Moilaa face down with a defeaning crush.
Her eyes radiated like beautiful dawn rays permeating through Nasipa’s first dew. Her breasts were well sized, well placed and firm like Mrs. Lempira’s mangoes and her face was like the brisk youthful morning flooding life onto hopeless souls like us. She was neat, smart, knew when and how to talk, gentle and full of love. You would think that she was misplaced, a visitor probably doing some research in the area.
She seemed totally detached from Nasipa and her goals and aspirations were totally new to us. Nasipa was not anywhere in her future, it was just a birth area. Nosim had standards, she was dating some guy from Loitokitok town. Loitokitok town was then the New York of the United States of Kajiado Bosom.
His boyfriend was clean, smelled nice and used rounded scented soaps. As for the many of us, we scavenged for brown Jamaa and Panga soaps and if that wouldn’t be available, God provided us with leaves that would lather and wash not only the grim off our bodies but also blot our sin from the face of the earth. Talk of muosho mmoja! (one wash)
Nosim’s boyfriend would shower her with good shopping and it was through her that we saw and tasted weird things including foreign chocolate brands sent by His mother from the UK. I remember diarrheaing like Bosco on on crack because of the weird things we ate. My stomach was used to orpurda, Nkuriny’ and wild fruits like laama and orgum and I resolved not to taste weird Illuminati things like chocolate. Kuaak! Mayieu pesho!
Moilaa really strived to please Nosim but the closest he came to UK chocolates were a few Patcos from Mama Kinzi’s shop or a kako-kola date at Mama Soda’s shop back when sodas were placed in cold water and marketed as Soda Baridi (Cold soda). Damn! We have come from far. I wish these Tiktok kids knew how we ran to Rombo town to see what a fridge looked like because the management of The Coca-Cola company finally resolved that people in Rombo can finally have a glance at a refrigerator.
Because Moilaa couldn’t reach the standards of Nosim, he sorted to devilish tactics of rapping demonic songs fully aware that Pastor Olonana forbade the singing of secular songs. He called himself Prezzo but Nakotienke, Nasipa’s chief whip called him Presso. He resorted to calling himself Redsan but Presso really stuck and school going children would continuously tease him saying that when they grew up, they would want to be like Presso.
Nakotienke had a deep crush on Moilaa but she had a ‘personal’ face. Her presence was commanding and she used to be summoned whenever children refused to eat or sleep. Kids will be told, ‘Sleep or I call Nakotienke.’ This child scarer, commander in chief of scary nights armed forces had an unending crush on Moilaa that even Pastor Olonana and his counterparts wouldn’t deliver her from.
Moilaa was her do or die, her precious Presso was the apple of her eye and the first yawn of her morning. She was the Ntulele of her drought, the only blooming fruit in a dry and pale land. If she were to write the Psalm, her 63th would read;
A Psalm of Nakotienke
‘In a dry and barren land, I yearn for Presso lai (My Prezzo)’
Nakotienke 63:1 NSP
Nakotienke, a serving veteran in the army had martial arts training and she was feared by everyone both young and old. This is because the feared Ole Naiguta, the merciless butcher, caned her naked for stealing Ole Karuko’s balelo (a goat’s kid).
The crazy girl burst into irresistible laughter that aroused Ole Naiguta’s anger prompting to cane her to the point of blood but the more he did, the more she laughed. Since that day, nobody saw her as human. Even Bosco, the demon of the community forsook her claiming that Nakotienke’s resilience is of another level and he doesn’t have that tolerance.
Just like me, Nakotienke lived in her own bubble and she was feared by everyone until the day she realized that she could make a life partner out of Moilaa and soon, the biggest drama of the century was about to ensure; Telemundo, Mi Amor, Shomax, Real Housewives of Nasipa involving the love triangle that touched the three corners of United States of Kajiado’s Bossom, Kimana, Rombo and Loitokitok.
Watch out for Part 5
